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| Overcoming life is something we all have to do, on some level. The level of overcoming I went through isn’t anything uncommon. As a matter of fact, Jesus teaches about the overcoming we all have to do in order to have not only everlasting life but also peace while still on this earth. Overcoming means to get over something and get on with what’s ahead. I had to overcome most of all the misery of life, for I was a very miserable person. I came from a moderately dysfunctional family. My dad was a man who drank and who cared nothing about us. He beat our momma, but provided for us, so we respected him. Momma tried to put the fear of God into all of us kids (nine of us), but it didn’t stick long with any of us. We were a family with great problems that you didn’t talk about with each other, much less anyone outside the family. You just got through them and got out as quick as you could. And that’s exactly what I did. I married someone I barely knew who promised to take me away from the life I had. He did that and I had a wonderful life with him and his family for nearly ten years. We had our problems sure, but we handled them. His family was a healthy, loving family. My mother in law taught me values, morals, and she preached Christ to me. For everything we went through, all the hard times we had, she would tell me “Jesus loves you and He can help you if you let Him”. My response was the same as a lot of people, I would say I already knew that and I didn’t need to be told. But, I didn’t believe He could help me. I wasn’t worth helping. My husband came home from being on the road for a while (he was a truck driver) and within a few hours, was gone. He died of a massive heart attack. My life was over. My world was gone. I was 27 and widowed. I didn’t know how to function without him so I went back to what I knew. I started going to the bars and getting just drunk enough to pass out. That was my escape. Sometimes I would make it home from the bars, sometimes I would sleep in my car. Everyone told me I was too young to be alone, I needed to find someone and get married. And, I did. I met a man twice my age, but he was fun to hang with. We were married two years later. We partied, we gambled, we had fun, fun and more fun. Then we would fight, fight and fight some more. He was an alcoholic and though the drinking wasn’t fun for me anymore, he wouldn’t think of giving it up. I started getting the feeling that I needed to get back to my roots. It would cross my mind that I should start going to church, but he wouldn’t allow that. On my way home from the city one day, I drove across a bridge that someone had hit and had gotten killed. It was in the newspapers the next week that the police were investigating the accident as a suicide. An idea popped into my head and it stayed there, and became clearer every time I passed over that bridge. My marriage was falling apart. And I was losing ground, not just with my husband, but with myself. He finally, after nine years of a very rocky relationship, kicked me out for the last time. I was broke, alone and didn’t know what to do. I could hear my mother in laws words in my head saying “Jesus loves you and He will help you if you let Him”. But, I could handle this on my own. After all, I had already overcome so much. And, if I couldn’t handle it, there was that bridge. I had studied it, figured out how I would have to hit it to make sure I wouldn’t survive. But, that was a last resort. I found a job and a year later, I got involved with my boss. He was getting out of a bad relationship and we had a lot in common. I thought I had covered all my bases before I would even go on a date with him. Yes, he believed in God. Yes, he wanted to find a church. Yes, he said all the right things. While he was sitting there with a drink in his hand on our wedding day, my heart told me to run, but I thought when we got married things would change. He would follow through with what he had told me we would do. Within a few days I knew I had made a huge mistake. By the end of our first year, I was a total wreck. He wouldn’t work, he wouldn’t quit drinking, he confessed that he wasn’t sure there was a God. And he thought it was my duty as his wife to wait on him hand and foot and it was my place to support him. I had been praying for the Lord to show me what to do. At night before going to sleep I would talk to God and ask Him which way to go. But, I wouldn’t wait on an answer. I was out of my mind with worry over what to do. I felt like everything I had tried to do with my life just turned out wrong and I concluded I was after all, what my dad had told me all the while I was growing up, worthless. A widow and two failed marriages wasn’t what I had intended for my life. And I couldn’t handle anymore. I went to visit a girlfriend I hadn’t seen since I had gotten married. And I passed that bridge. I realized I had my answer to all my problems. I got to the restaurant where I was meeting my friend and thought about which angle I needed to turn the wheel and what speed I needed to be going. I thought how soon my problems would be over. I was not in any condition to be driving that day and my friend tried to get me to stay with her. But the bridge was waiting and I couldn’t wait to get back to it. I left the restaurant and headed back, knowing my life was soon over. I was about a mile from the bridge when I heard a man’s voice speak to me. I was alone in my pickup and I wasn’t playing the radio. But, I heard that man’s voice as clear as if he had been sitting in the passenger seat. He said “You can hit that bridge and die and carry your problems with you; or you can cross that bridge and keep going and never look back. I can help you.” By the time I realized it I had crossed the bridge. I called my mother in law from my first marriage and asked her if I could come home. Of course she said yes, and she told me “Jesus loves you and He will help you if you let Him”. This time, instead of brushing those words away, I embraced them. He told me the same thing as He brought me across that bridge. My flesh still wanted to fight though, so it took me a few months before I realized the Power of His Love. I had crossed that bridge, but my life was still in turmoil. I had a war of all wars going on inside me and I wasn’t sure at times who was going to win. I had started drinking again and going to the bars again. On New Years Eve that year, 2002, I made another horrible mistake. No, I didn’t get married, but I thought about that bridge and the voice that had spoken to me. So, I decided it was time to give it up. I knew I couldn’t go on living as I had been. God made me a promise and I had to trust that He wouldn’t forsake me. On my second visit to church, I asked the Pastor why God would allow someone so miserable, who wanted nothing more than to die, to continue living in this horrible world. On my third visit to church with mom, I buckled. I was exhausted and I knew I couldn’t go another day without Jesus guiding my every step. When the Pastor finished bringing his message, he started the alter call. At some point, I quit hearing his voice and I heard the voice from the bridge. He was saying “Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” I heard Him tell me He would give me peace. So, I went to the alter, got down on my knees and I cried my heart out to the Lord. I asked Him to forgive my sins. I told Him how ashamed I was for turning my back on Him. I asked Him to please come into my heart and abide with me. And at that instant, I felt all the pressure from the last 40 something years of my life just lift off my shoulders. All the pain from my youth, my husbands death, my two failed marriages vanished away. I felt a peace that I had absolutely never felt before in my entire life. I felt all the sin, all the failure, all the filth from the life I had lived, just go away and it was replaced with a cleansing I never knew existed. And I knew that I never had to look back. I realized that my whole life had been in vain. I had been searching for something that no one or anything in this world could give me. I had foolishly tried to mend my broken heart, my broken spirit, all by myself with the final result being wanting to commit suicide. Everything I tried to do failed, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But, the Holy Spirit came into my heart and changed me completely. From the inside out, He changed my way of thinking, my way of looking at others, and the way I looked at myself. He changed the way I dressed, the way I wore my makeup and hair. He changed what I used to think was important to what really is important. The writer Solomon was a very wise man. God gave him the wisdom to know that everything in life is vanity; but life in Christ is eternal peace. I got into the Word, whereas before I would never read past one Scripture because I didn’t understand it. I heard the Pastor read the Scripture about having the wisdom to understand the Word has to come from God. It has to be spiritually discerned. I started praying to the Lord to give me understanding and it was like I couldn’t quit! The more I understood, the more I wanted to learn! A few months later I voiced my interest in helping with the Sunday school class I was in. The Associate Minister who had the class at the time, told me to study and pray about it and when I got ready, I could teach a lesson or two. Another couple of weeks went by and I prayed about it, I prayed for the Lord to put it on my heart what He wanted me to do. Finally, I told the Pastor and Associate Minister I thought I’d like to try teaching a lesson. After trying it, I felt like I had been doing it my entire life. But, I had never done anything like that before. The Pastor asked me to take the class over and I agreed. The Lord had done so much for me in such a short time. I couldn’t believe the change in my life. Jesus made me a promise and He followed through. Yes, I have days when I think of that bridge; the one Jesus brought me across. But, now when I have bad days, instead of the bottle or the bars, I turn to the Lord and ask Him to wrap His loving arms around me and protect me. His Word tells us to put on the whole Armor of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. And we have to do that, even if we are in Christ because Satan loves nothing better than to destroy a child of God. Especially babes in Christ, because they don’t realize yet that Satan uses even those in the church to try to destroy what God has done with the babe. I know I’m not the only person who has had a tough life. I know, because I used to sit in the bars full of people like myself, drinking to forget. I used to think I had to drink and party to have friends and fun. But, the Lord showed me it was all in vain. I don’t even think about drinking now, He took that off me. The people I thought were my friends, scattered when they heard I had gotten involved with church. But you know what? God placed a lot of great true friends in my life! I thank God for saving my life. Yes, there’s the probability that I will slip and I have, but because Jesus lives inside me, I know He gives me strength to overcome. I just remember 1 John 4:4 and know that greater is He that’s in me than he that’s in the world. Satan has way more power than everyone on this earth put together, but he has nothing compared to the Almighty Power of God. I know now why God allows people to have hard times. It is first and foremost, so we will trust in Him and know that He will never leave nor forsake us. When everyone else in our lives have failed us, God is right there, loving us, shielding us from Satan’s attempts to destroy us. He gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit so we can overcome and share with others the Power of His love. Without the Holy Spirit, we can’t know what sin is. We’ve all sinned and come short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, no not one! Jesus was the only perfect one. But, we can be forgiven for our sins. It is by God’s grace through our faith in Jesus that we have the hope of eternal life. Jesus said that no man cometh to the Father, but by Him. We have to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior to have access to the Father and everlasting life. He saved me from not only eternal hell, but also the hell I was living before He met me at the cross. I pray others who may be reading this testimony and may be going through a rough time, will let Jesus help you. He loves you so very much. He can give you the same peace He gave to me and will give to all who come to Him. All you have to do is believe that He is, ask Him to forgive your sins; then ask Him to come into your heart. He’s knocking at the door of your heart. If you open the door, He will come in and abide (live) with you. |
Ruth Jeffreys, 1st General Baptist Church |
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